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Many of us have searched and searched and yet our heart craves nothing more than to be Whole. A Oneness, or Wholeness, in Spirit, or God. I'm smiling right now as I write this, and I almost want to laugh out loud. If that sounds strange, it's because of the simplicity of it all, and as a matter of fact, it's so simple that we all almost miss "it". I, too, had searched and exhausted myself from the effort. That's what is so funny. And when you "get it" you will feel like laughing, too. You'll be amazed at how silly we humans all are, trying and trying to find "it" when we are the "it" and have been "it" all along.
Do you know what is separating you from being Oneness? You want to be One while retaining your separate self. You're hesitant to be lost in Oneness, one as God. Your wish must be that you, or your - self, should not exist and only God exists. The two cannot exist simultaneously. You have to be merged in God. The Spirit, or Oneness (or God, if you want to use the word God) won't tell you that the "you" that exists is in fact getting in the way. Only by merging in Him and letting your existence be gone can you truly be who you are. Think of it this way: Imagine traffic merging when it comes into a freeway. It loses its existence.
May you be born into Oneness, pure Love, pure Consciousness - the only thing there is.
Blessings.