Wouldn't it be lovely to be totally at peace with yourself or with any other human you encounter in your life? Imagine being a person who never begins an argument or who is not drawn into one when someone else tries pull you into conflict? A Course of Miracles states, "No one who is at one with himself can even conceive of conflict." Ahhh........what a refreshing thought, to not even conceive of conflict.
It's sometimes perplexing to observe humans who appear to be in love with conflict or drama in their lives. Whether they admit to it or not, the drama is self-created. The strategies used are defense, attack, resistance, control, power, and greed. Even someone living alone can create their own drama. Whether its feeling sorry for oneself, feeling guilty, or feeling anxious - these are all forms of conflict within oneself. I can imagine hearing someone right now saying, "My feelings are uncontrollable, and they are perfectly justified!"
And in a way, you'd be right. You're entitled to feel whatever you feel. You are entitled to defend your position when you perceive you're being unfairly attacked, and you're absolutely entitled to create any drama you choose when you perceive it's justified. One can hardly be happy, though, by engaging in these behaviours or dramas. I know I wasn't when I indulged in dramas of my own in the past. So, why continue doing it when there is a way out of the misery?
Many of us didn't know how to find the escape door from conflict to peace. Some, even when they're shown the path to peace, won't take it because their whole sense of self is wrapped up in their particular life drama. The little self, or the egoic self, wants to thrive and grow. In order for it to continue living, it must feed on something, and that something is conflict. The little "me" says, "I am a victim of such and such. I am mistreated, misunderstood, and life is unfair to me." Or when the little "me" has worn out the victim role for a while, he or she reverses the strategy and inflicts suffering on others by lashing out verbally, emotionally, or physically, and usually believes or pretends to believe it's all justified. The ego has to thrive, remember, at all costs. Ego thinks it is "you" and feels threatened and literally is scared to death. The ego, or you, will die if it ceases to grow or to feed off of conflict. Many people will never give up ego, because it is their personality, (although, a false personality) and it's what makes them who they are, or so they believe. They will not become fully conscious, or awakened, unless the decision is made to drop the ego.
For those on the path to enlightenment, or to being fully conscious, only one escape route exists and it is this: know that when you are in conflict with something or someone, you are creating a time problem, or psychological time, as the spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, says. You have stepped out of the present moment, and have created either the past or the future. It's that simple. Become present, honor the present moment by allowing it to be and no drama or conflict is possible.
Tolle says, "When you live in complete acceptance of what is, that is the end of all drama in your life. Nobody can even have an argument with you, no matter how hard he or she tries. You cannot have an argument with a fully conscious person."
